True Penguin Facts

True facts about penguins.

Updated at noon daily.

“The Scissor Penguin is so named due to its use of flippers in combat. When angered, a scissor penguin will place both flippers together and start making cutting motions with them. Due to the fact that the flippers are not very rigid, this is only a minor inconvenience to the other combatant.”

“In the United States, a regular bar of chocolate can contain up to 70% penguin. To put this in perspective, most penguins are only 38% chocolate.”

“Penguins are legal to own, but illegal to view, in seven states. If a penguin owner is caught looking at a penguin, they can be tried for theft since the image of a penguin is the penguins’ own property. Mirrors are an interesting loophole.”

“Originally penguins were corrugated before evolving feathers.”

“The penguin word for “there is no danger” and “there is extreme danger” are identical. It is only via context that penguins are able to distinguish between them, however penguins are remarkably poor judges of context.”

“Penguins have notoriously bad eyesight. Because of this, you rarely see penguins as professional taxi drivers.”

“Penguins are unable to tell time. This is not surprising given the fact that penguins spend approximated 170% of their lives outside of time.”

“The game “Tic-Tac-Toe” was originally a penguin invention using crossed flippers as Xs and open beaks as Os. However the penguin version took nearly three weeks to perform and usually resulted in the death of at least fifteen penguins.”

“Ralph The Wonder Penguin famously could swallow two random billiard balls and compute the sum of their numbers. It was later discovered that he was a liar and unable to even eat a ping pong ball.”

“Before the invention of the speed boat, winter penguin migration took months and usually resulted in the penguins arriving in warmer climates just as fall was coming to an end,”